


Confessions at the Bedside

by kakera



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: I don't even know how to tag this, M/M, One-sided Conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 08:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5040481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakera/pseuds/kakera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suzuya has made a habit of visiting Shinohara's bedside. Imagining Shinohara's responses, Suzuya tells him of how things are going at the bureau. When he meets his new squad, Suzuya finds Shinohara's imaginary responses particularly needed--especially regarding the somewhat useless investigator, Hanbee Abara, who Suzuya can't quite get out of his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions at the Bedside

**Author's Note:**

> So when I wrote [Death, Donuts & a Late-Night Report](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4661922), I planned to write another fic using the Suzuya-talking-to-coma!Shinohara idea, with more focus on Suzuya/Hanbee. This is that fic.

"Hey, Shinohara," Suzuya gazed at the unconscious man on the bed, and let the beeping of the surrounding machinery filter from his attention. "I met my new squad today. They're promising..."

Shinohara would have had some kind of encouraging words at that moment, were he awake. Suzuya pouted, and rocked on his feet.

"Except this one guy. Hanbee Abara. He's utterly useless!" Suzuya huffed. "Too afraid for his life to do anything good. Can't handle a quinque in battle, too fearful of ghouls--he runs away! He's an idiot! And he's always right beside me, trying to please me. It's so annoying! The only thing he's good for is turning pudding onto the plate!"

Sighing, Suzuya looked upon Shinohara's face. It almost looked like Shinohara was frowning, and Suzuya could imagine hear his former partner telling him to be patient.

"I know, I should encourage him. Maybe I'll shock him out of his fear..." Suzuya nodded, then leaned over the bed to kiss Shinohara's forehead. "Goodnight, Shinohara. I'll be going now."

*

"Sorry I'm late..." Suzuya slipped into the room past visiting time, hair messy and clothes askew. "We took down the Skull Mask group. It took some time to finish things up..." Tired, Suzuya pulled a chair to Shinohara's bedside.

Shinohara looked thoughtful today. Suzuya wondered if anything was really happening in Shinohara's mind. The man was in a coma, and the doctor said he'd be a vegetable if he ever woke up: brain-damaged from blood loss.

Suzuya curled up in the seat and hugged his knees. "Hey... Hanbee admitted today that he knows he isn't suited to being a ghoul investigator. He joined for the same reason a lot of people do. Someone he loves got hurt..." Suzuya frowned. "Love must be a strong emotion, mustn't it?"

Silence as usual from Shinohara, though Suzuya pictured an empathetic expression on his face.

"I felt sorry for him, I think," Suzuya blinked. "I laughed and told him he's completely unsuited to the job, and he didn't even try to defend himself. But I encouraged him, just like you would have suggested!"

Shinohara would approve of that. In the past, incompetence had been downright annoying, but talking to Shinohara helped Suzuya figure out how to deal with people.

"It worked," Suzuya grinned. "Of course, he was useless when the group attacked. I killed them, except for the leader. I let her catch me at a disadvantage. I knew Hanbee would overcome his fear. He found courage and killed the leader in order to save me." Glancing up at the clock, Suzuya stood and returned the chair to its place. "I'm proud of him. Emotions are strange, aren't they, Shinohara? Anyway," he pressed a kiss to Shinohara's brow. "I'm off. I'll report again soon."

 

It turned out to be a while before Suzuya next visited Shinohara. He crept in and slumped down in the chair, yawning. "Evening, Shinohara. Man, what a day! Sorry that I haven't come here often. We've been stuck with a big case, it was fun! Hanbee was kind of useless, but he's getting better..." Suzuya shrugged. "He's great with food, anyway! Turns out he's a fantastic cook! I visit his place every day after work now, and he brings me lunch every day, freshly made that morning! He's totally not useless when it comes to food!"

Smiling, Suzuya gazed upon the comatose man on the bed. "You'd want to encourage him more, wouldn't you? I'm doing that. And he doesn't annoy me anymore. I suppose that means I like him, doesn't it? You stopped annoying me, too, and I ended up liking you, though it felt different with you."

Suzuya closed his eyes, imagining what Shinohara would say about that. He continued the conversation with Shinohara in his head, lulled to sleep by the beep of the machines.

He was awoken at dawn by Hanbee.

"Suzuya?"

"Eh? Hanbee?"

Hanbee peered down at Suzuya anxiously. "They said I'd find you here. There was an attack two blocks down..."

Suzuya grinned and jumped to his feet, energetic as though he hadn't been sleeping in a chair moments ago. "Great, let's get to work!"

Turning back to the bed, Suzuya touched Shinohara's hand and kissed his forehead as was his habit. "Good morning, Shinohara. Don't laze in bed all day, okay? We'll be off now."

He turned and walked from the room, not seeing the sympathetic way in which Hanbee glanced at Shinohara's still form.

 

It was Hanbee who visited Shinohara next, rather than Suzuya.

"Um..." Hanbee's tall, black-swathed form had a forbidding appearance at Shinohara's bedside. "I-I hope it's okay to be here like this, Shinohara," Hanbee murmured. "But you were Suzuya's partner, and he is my leader... It seems he talks to you often..." Hanbee pursed his lips. He had followed Suzuya here for some time now, though never listened to the one-sided conversation.

"...You'd be really proud of him. I've heard the rumours of what he was like when he started work at the bureau, and he's changed quite a bit, Shinohara. I think that is down to you. Um. Thank you. Suzuya's encouragement and kindness have helped me a lot. He's a good man. Endearing, really, isn't he?"

A rueful smile found its way onto Hanbee's lips, and he hugged himself guiltily.

"Shinohara, I know it isn't right for me to...to...for Suzuya..." Hanbee sighed and shook his head. "I'll do my best to take care of him. Please forgive the intrusion."

Hanbee bowed swiftly, and left the room.

A moment later, Suzuya slunk inside.

"I didn't know Hanbee visited you too, Shinohara... Wonder what he meant just then?"

*

Were Shinohara conscious, he would have witnessed a lot unfold over the following weeks--all through the words spoken by his two visitors. Whilst Suzuya visited out of familiarity and to imagine what Shinohara would say back to him, Hanbee visited to offload words that he couldn't say outside of the hospital room. Even then, there were certain things Hanbee couldn't bring himself to speak aloud.

*

"Suzuya...He's really something, isn't he? I want to be his right-hand man, always."

*

"Hanbee was slightly less useless today. He was the first to notice the link between the gang we were after and the new jewellery trend that sprung up amongst the area's youths. Turned out the bones on their pendants were human finger-bones, not resin like people thought... It was clever. We caught the gang leader and will take down the others soon."

*

"Shinohara, do you think Suzuya will ever think fondly of me? If I could be less of a nuisance... If I could be better... I want him to be able to rely on me."

*

"...so that's the whole gang dead. Hanbee is better at dealing with ghouls these days. A lot better. He's great at dealing with people, too. Obviously he doesn't kill them," Suzuya laughed. "Civilians who are sad, or scared... Hanbee is always the one to reassure them. They all say, 'My! You look really scary, but you've got a soft heart, haven't you!' It's funny, because it's true. He looks so tough, doesn't he? But he's kind, and takes good care of me."

*

"He's started sleeping over, some nights..." Hanbee stretched out his legs. He'd taken to sitting down when he visited Shinohara. It seemed more polite, more attentive, now that he felt acquainted with the other man.

Sometimes, Hanbee was sure Shinohara's expressions changed as he spoke, but he always persuaded himself that it was the changing shadows in the room, or his tired mind imagining it all.

"Was Suzuya always clingy with you, too? He falls asleep in front of the TV and then I can't move until he wakes. It's...Well, it isn't annoying, it's--It's rather cute, isn't it?" Hanbee felt the heat rush to his cheeks, and lowered his voice. "I don't mind, but I'd rather he slept comfortably in bed, rather than against me. I know I'm bony..."

*

"Sleeping over at Hanbee's is the best!" Suzuya was perched on the chair, smiling. "He's like a giant teddy bear, one that hugs back when it thinks you're asleep! He's slender, but he's comfortable and warm. I like it," Suzuya bounced off the chair and went to look out of the window. "You've got a great view here, Shinohara. I bet Hanbee would like to see. You should open your eyes sometime and take a look, too."

Turning back to the room, Suzuya leaned against the windowsill. "Hey, Shinohara. If you like someone, you kiss them, right?" His voice became soft. "...Hanbee always kisses my forehead, when he thinks I'm sleeping. Like the way I kiss you goodbye. But his lips stay against my skin for longer. Am I not doing it right? Let's find out!"

Suzuya hopped over to the bed to kiss Shinohara goodbye. This time, he let his lips linger against Shinohara's forehead.

"Hm, it felt weird..." Suzuya murmured, puzzled. "It's different when Hanbee does it. Huh. Anyway, I'll be going now. Take care, Shinohara!"

*

Hanbee sighed as he sat down by Shinohara's bed. "I'm in far too deep," he uttered worriedly. "I'm sure Suzuya has noticed by now. Every time he smiles at me--I feel so weak, Shinohara. I-I love him. But I can't let him know that, can I? He's my leader. ...He'd probably laugh it off. Suzuya isn't a very emotional person, is he? It hasn't hindered my feelings, though. Suzuya is straightforward and genuine. I really like that..."

Leaning back in the chair, Hanbee stared at the ceiling and let out a sigh. "I need to get over him before something bad happens..."

*

"Seriously, I wish Hanbee would quit!" Suzuya stomped back and forth before Shinohara's bed. "He can't handle all those ghouls. He got hurt today. He'll be okay, but if I hadn't been there--" Suzuya stopped pacing, and gripped the end of Shinohara's bed. "I don't want him to end up like you, Shinohara."

A lump had begun to form in Suzuya's throat, and he swallowed to clear it. "Ugh. What's the matter with me? I'm becoming useless, too..." Suzuya laughed softly. "Maybe that's why Hanbee doesn't seem useless anymore..."

Leaning against the bedrail, Suzuya peered at Shinohara's face. "You know, Akira said something yesterday. She said Hanbee looks at me like a besotted schoolgirl. But he always has that expression. Does he like me in that way? I don't think it's weird, so wouldn't he be forthright about it and tell me?" A fond smile found its way onto Suzuya's face. "Then again, it's Hanbee. Our cowardly giant."

Suzuya went to kiss Shinohara goodbye. "I'll test it out. Sweet dreams, Shinohara."

 

The next day, Hanbee stepped into the room, arm in a sling and a bewildered expression on his face. He didn't sit down this time, only stood by the bed, speaking quietly.

"Shinohara, uh... Suzuya--he kissed me?" Hanbee sounded as confused as he looked. "Um. It was nice, though." Hanbee shifted embarrassedly and glanced around the room, then back at Shinohara's kindly face. "I, uh... If it was your influence, somehow, I'm grateful. I was shocked, but it made me happy. Thank you."

He slipped from the room as silently as he'd come.

 

Suzuya appeared a few minutes after Hanbee left.

"I did it, Shinohara," he grinned and sat on the edge of the bed. "I waited until we were alone, and I kissed him. He was so surprised that he kissed back, until he realised what he was doing and started to panic," Suzuya laughed. "You should have seen it, Shinohara. He was so cute."

Suzuya could almost believe that the corners of Shinohara's lips had turned slightly upwards. He patted Shinohara's hand.

"It gave me the answer I was looking for. I know that he likes me now. And I found out more, besides. Like, Hanbee's lap is really comfortable. And he tastes like cherry cola and candy apples. Kissing him was really nice."

Carefully, Suzuya lay down beside Shinohara, and wrapped an arm around his torso. "Now I understand why I don't want Hanbee to get hurt. And why it feels good in my chest when his lips linger on my forehead. I know why I like it when he gives me that look that Akira said is besotted, and why the food he makes for me tastes better than dinner at the finest restaurant."

Suzuya squeezed Shinohara gently. "I know what you'd say. You would have said it a while ago. And you're right. I double-checked when I saw him in the corridor just now. I kissed him again, and it was obvious. That's what that feeling is, isn't it? I love Hanbee."

Smiling, Suzuya pressed a kiss to Shinohara's cheek. "It feels really good. So you've got to get better, so your wife can feel that again. She must be really sad without you. If you wake up, you can meet Hanbee properly, too..." Suzuya let out a sigh. "I should go. Hanbee promised to wait for me in the lobby. He's going to cook for me..."

Suzuya stood from the bed and smiled down at Shinohara's motionless form. "You were a really great partner, Shinohara. You've taught me a lot." He kissed Shinohara's forehead, eyes closing momentarily. "I won't bother you so much anymore. I'll let you rest. Goodbye, Shinohara. Thank you, for everything."

Suzuya's footsteps faded into the distance, replaced by the soft beeping of machinery. In the dimness of the hospital room, Shinohara's lips were curved into a definite smile.


End file.
